Excerpts from <title level="m">Bartholomew Fair Author Ben Jonson Printer John Beale Printer James Dawson Printer Bernard Alsop Printer Thomas Fawcett Bookseller Richard Meighen Bookseller Thomas Walkley Compiler Melanie Chernyk Transcriber Melanie Chernyk Transcriber Kate LeBere Encoder Kate LeBere Markup Editor Kate LeBere Transcription Proofreader Kate LeBere Data Manager Tye Landels Junior Programmer Joey Takeda Programmer Martin Holmes Associate Project Director Kim McLean-Fiander Project Director Janelle Jenstad The Map of Early Modern Londonhttp://mapoflondon.uvic.ca/includes.xmlVictoria, BC, Canada
Department of English P.O.Box 3070 STNC CSC University of Victoria Victoria, BC Canada V8W 3W1
2016University of Victoria978-1-55058-519-3 Janelle Jenstad london@uvic.ca

Copyright held by The Map of Early Modern London on behalf of the contributors.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

Further details of licences are available from our Licences page. For more information, contact the project director, Janelle Jenstad, for specific information on the availability and licensing of content found in files on this site.

Source: Jonson, Ben. The vvorkes of Beniamin Ionson. Containing these playes, viz. 1 Bartholomew Fayre. 2 The staple of newes. 3 The Divell is an asse. London: John Beale, James Dawson, Bernard Alsop and Thomas Fawcet for Richard Meighen and Thomas Walkley, 1641. STC 14754.

Most MoEML documents, or significant fragments with xml:id attributes, can be addressed using the mol: prefix and accessed through the web application with their id + .xml.

The molagas prefix points to the shape representation of a location on MoEML’s OpenLayers3-based rendering of the Agas Map.

Links to page-images in the Chadwyck-Healey Early English Books Online (EEBO) repository. Note that this is a subscription service, and may not be accessible to those accessing it from locations outside member institutions.

Links to page-images in the English Broadside Ballad Archive (EBBA).

The mdt (MoEML Document Type) prefix used on catRef/target points to a central taxonomy in the includes file.

The mdtlist (MoEML Document Type listing) prefix used in linking attributes points to a listings page constructed from a category in the central MDT taxonomy in the includes file. There are two variants, one with the plain xml:id of the category, meaning all documents in the specified category, and one with the suffix _subcategories, meaning all subcategories of the category.

The molgls (MoEML gloss) prefix used on term/corresp points to a a glossary entry in the GLOSS1.xml file.

This molvariant prefix is used on ref/target attributes during automated generation of gazetteer index files. It points to an element in the generated variant spellings listing file which lists all documents which contain a particular spelling variant for a location.

This molajax prefix is used on ref/target attributes during the static build process, to specify links which point to MoEML resources which should not be loaded into the source page during standalone processing; instead, these should be turned into links to the XML source documents, and at HTML page load time, these should be turned into AJAX calls. This is to handle the scenario in which a page such as an A-Z index of the whole site would end up containing virtually the whole site inside itself.

The molstow prefix is used on facs attributes to link to the HCMC verison of the Stow facsimiles. Usually the first group is the year (1633) and then last is the image number (0001).

The molshows prefix is used on facs attributes to link to the copies of page-images from mayoral shows stored in the london account on the HCMC server. The first group is the year (1633), the second is the source repository, and then last is the image file name.

The sb prefix is used on ref/target attributes to link to Stow’s Books URLs at UToronto.

Our editorial and encoding practices are documented in detail in the Praxis section of our website.

float: left; font-size: 250%; margin-right: 0.05em; padding: 0; line-height: 90%; display: inline-block; font-family: Georgia; text-align: center; font-size: 150%; margin-bottom: 1em; font-family: Georgia; text-align: center; font-size: 100%; margin-bottom: 1em; text-indent: 2em; text-indent: 4em; Changed quotes to those in an EEBO facsimile. Added name tags and missing ref tags. Cleaned old code changing formatting to table form. Collapsed element rendition using XSLT. Changed all entires of TRIG1 to TRIG2. Changed calendar value from "julian" to "julianSic" using XSLT. Standardized respStmts for JENS1, MCFI1, and HOLM3 and added TAKE1 as Junior Programmer. Added XInclude for listPrefixDef in the header. Tagged Bermudas with xml:id for St. Martin’s Lane. Added global publicationStmt through XInclude. Revised author respStmt in teiHeader. Eliminated superfluous catRef elements from the header. Put change elements inside revisionDesc into the correct (latest first) order. Added profileDesc containing document type information expressed in catRef elements. Changed multi-text structure based on group to single text element. Converted @rend to @style, through XSLT transformation. Transformed existing byline elements into a respStmt element in the header. Left byline elements in place for the moment. Added front element with docTitle as part of a normalization process. This will be used as the definitive page title on rendering. Copyedited and cleaned up. Commented out pointlessly-repeated head elements to make processing simpler. Various updates and fixes made through XSLT, to standardize and normalize encoding practices. Excerpts from Bartholomew Fair STAGE-KEEPER.

would not a fine Pumpe vpon the Stage ha’ done well, for a property now? and a Punque set vnder vpon her head, with her Sterne vpward, and ha’ beene sous’d by my wity young masters o’the Innes o’ Court? what thinke you o’this for a shew, now?

Scr.I.e., Scrivener. ARTICLES of Agreement, indented, between the Spectators or Hearers, at the Hope on the Bankeside, in the County of Surrey on the one party; And the Author of Bartholmew Fayre in the said place, and County on the other party: the one and thirtieth day of Octob. 1614. and in the twelfth yeere of the Raigne of our Soueragine Lord, IAMES by the grace of God King of England, France, & Ireland, Defender of the faith. And of Scotland the seauen and fortieth.James VI and I became King of Scotland in 1567 and King of England 36 years later in 1603.

It is further couenanted, concluded and agreed, that how great soeuer the expectation bee, no person here, is to expect more then hee knowes, or better ware then a Fayre will affoord: neyther to looke backe to the sword and buckler-age of Smithfield, but content himselfe with the present.

In consideration of which, it is finally agreed, by the foresaid hearers, and spectators, that they neyther in themselues conceale, nor suffer by them to be concealed any State-decipherer, or politique Picklocke of the Scene, so solemnly ridiculous, as to search out, who was meant by the Ginger-bread-woman, who by the Hobby-horse-man, who by the Costard-monger, nay, who by their Wares. Or that will pretend to affirme (on his owne inspired ignorance) what Mirror of Magistrates is meant by the Iustice, what great Lady by the Pigge-woman, what conceal’d States-man, by the Seller of Mouse-trappes, and so of the rest. But that such person, or persons so found, be left discouered to the mercy of the Author, as a forfeiture to the Stage, and your laughter, aforesaid. As also, such as shall so desperately, or ambitiously, play the foole by his place aforesaid, to challenge the Author of scurrilitie, because the language some where sauours of Smithfield, the Booth, and the Pig-broath, or of prophanenesse, because a Mad-man cryes, God quit you, or blesse you. In witnesse whereof, as you haue preposterously put to your Seales already (which is your money) you will now adde the other part of suffrage, your hands, The Play shall presently begin. And though the Fayre be not kept in the same Region, that some here, perhaps, would haue it, yet thinke, that therein the Author hath obseru’d a speciall Decorum, the place being as durty as Smithfield, and as stinking euery whit.

LITTLE-VVIT. { To him } VVIN.

well, goe thy wayes Iohn Little-wit, Proctor Iohn Little-wit: One o’ the pretty wits o’ Pauls, the Little wit of London (so thou art call’d) and some thing beside Win, Good morrow, Win. I marry Win! Now you looke finely indeed, Win! this Cap do’s conuince! youl’d not ha’ worne it, VVin, nor ha’ had it veluet, but a rough countrey Beauer, with a copper-band, like the Conney-skinne woman of Budge-row? Sweete VVin, let me kisse it! And. her fine high shooes, like the Spanish Lady! Good VVin, goe a litle I would faine see thee pace, pretty VVin! By this fine Cap, I could neuer leaue kissing on’t.

WIN. Come, indeede la, you are such a foole, still!

LITT. No, but halfe a one, Win, you are the tother halfe: man and wife make one foole, Win. (Good!) Is there the Proctor, or Doctor indeed, i’the Diocesse, that euer had the fortune to win him such a Win! (There I am againe!) I doe feele conceits comming vpon mee, more then I am able to turne tongue too. A poxe o’ these pretenders, to wit! your Three Cranes, Miter, and Mermaid men! Not a corne of true salt, nor a graine of right mustard amongst them all.

LITT. Troth I am a little taken with my Wins dressing here! Do’st not fine Master Win-wife? How doe you apprehend, Sir? Shee would not ha’ worne this habit. I challenge all Cheapside, to shew such another: Morefields, Pimlico path, or the Exchange, in a sommer euening, with a Lace to boot as this has. Deare Win, let Master Win-wife kisse you. Hee comes a wooing to our mother Win, and may be our father perhaps, Win. There’s no harme in him, Win.

WIN. Sir, my mother has had her natiuity-water cast lately by the Cunning men in Cow-lane, and they ha’ told her her fortune, and doe ensure her, shce shall neuer haue happy houre; vnlesse shee marry within this sen’night, and when it is, it must be a Madde-man, they say.

LIT. I, but it must be a Gentle-man Mad-man.

WIN. Yes, so the tother man of More-fields sayes.

WIN-W. But do’s shee beleeue ’hem?

LIT. Yes, and ha’s beene at Bedlem twice since, euery day, to enquire if any Gentleman be there, or to come there, mad!

QVAR. Hoy-day! how respectiue you are become o’the sudden! I feare this family will turne you reformed too, pray you come about againe. Because she is in possibility to be your daughter in law, and may aske you blessing hereafter, when she courts it to Totnam to eat creame. Well, I will forbeare, Sir, but i’faith, would thou wouldst leaue thy exercise of widdow-hunting once! this drawing after an old reuerend Smocke by the splay-foote: There cannot be an ancient Tripe or Trillibub i’the Towne, but thou art straight nosing it, and ’tis a fine occupation thou’lt confine thy selfe to, when thou ha’st got one; scrubbing a piece of Buffe, as if thou hadst the perpetuity of Pannyer-alley to stinke in; or perhaps, worse, currying a carkasse, that thou hast bound thy selfe to aliue.

QVAR. I, for there was a Blew-starch-woman o’ the name, at the same time. Anotable hypocriticall vermine it is; I know him. One that stands vpon his face, more then his faith, at all times; Euer in seditious motion, and reprouing for vaine-glory: of a most lunatique conscience, and splene, and affects the violence of Singularity in all he do’s: (He has vndone a Grocer here, in New-gate-market, that broke with him, trusted him with Currans, as errant a Zeale as he, that’s by the way: by his profession, hee will euer be i’the state of Innocence, though; and child-hood; derides all Antiquity; defies any other Learning, then Inspiration; and what discretion soeuer, yeeres should afford him, it is all preuented in his Originall ignorance; ha’ not to doe with him: for hee is a fellow of a most arrogant, and inuincible dulnesse, I assure you; who is this?

WAS. why, we could not meet that heathen thing, all day, but stayd him: he would name you all the Signes ouer, as hee went, aloud: and where hee spi’d a Parrat, or a Monkey, there hee was pitch’d, with all the littl-long-coats about him, male and female; no getting him away! I thought he would ha’ runne madde o’the blacke boy in Bucklers-bury, that takes the scury, roguy tobacco, there.

OVER. I am content to be in abeyance, Sir, and be gouern’d by you; so should hee too, if he did well; but ’twill be expected, you should also gouerne your passions.

WAS. Will’t so forsooth? good Lord! how sharpe you are! with being at Bet’lem yesterday? VVhetston has set an edge vpon you, has hee?

IOH. Tut, we’ll haue a deuice, a dainty one; (Now, Wit, helpe at a pinch, good Wit come, come, good Wit, and ’t be thy will.) I haue it, Win, I haue it ’ifaith, and ’tis a fine one. Win, long to eate of a Pigge, sweet Win, i’the Fayre; doe you see? i’the heart o’the Fayre; not at Pye-Corner. Your mother will doe any thing, Win, to satisfie your longing, you know, pray thee long, presently, and be sicke o’the sudden, good Win. I’ll goe in and tell her, cut thy lace i’the meane time, and play the Hypocrite, sweet Win.

TRA. Charme me? I’ll meet thee face to face, afore his worship, when thou dar’st: and though I be a little crooked o’ my body, I’ll be found as vpright in my dealing, as any woman in Smithfield, I, charme me?

KNOCKHVM. { to them.

VVHat! my little leane Vrsla! my shee-Beare! art thou aliue yet? with thy litter of pigges, to grunt out another Bartholmew Fayre? ha!

VRS. Yes, and to amble a foote, when the Fayre is done, to heare you groane out of a cart, vp the heauy hill.

KNO. Of Holbourne, Vrsla, meanst thou so? for what? for what, pretty Vrs?

VRS. For cutting halfe-penny purses: or stealing little penny dogges, out o’the Fayre.

KNO. O! good words, good words Vrs.

IVS. Another speciall enormitie. A cutpurse of the sword! the boote, and the feather! those are his marks.

VRS. You are one of those horsleaches, that gaue out I was dead, in Turne-bull streete, of a surfet of botle ale, and tripes?

KNO. No, ’twas better meat Vrs: cowes vdders; cowes vdders!

MOO. What meane you by that, Master Arthur?

IVS. I meane a child of the horne-thumb, a babe of booty, boy; a cutpurse.

MOO. O Lord, Sir! far from it. This is Master Dan. Knockhum: Iordane the Ranger of Turnebull. He is a horse-courser, Sir.

QVAR. Body o’the Fayre! what’s this? mother o’the Bawds?

KNO. No, she’s mother o’the Pigs, Sir, mother o’the Pigs!

WIN. Mother o’the Furies, I thinke, by her firebrand.

QVAR. Nay, shee is too fat to be a Fury, sure, some walking Sow of tallow!

WIN. An inspir’d vessell of Kitchin-stuffe!

QVAR. She’ll make excellent geere for the Coach-makers, here in Smithfield, to anoynt wheeles and axell trees with.

KNO. Be of good cheere, Vrs, thou hast hindred me the currying of a couple of Stallions, here, that abus’d the good race-Bawd o’Smithfield; ’twas time for ’hem to goe.

IVS. Harke, O, you sonnes and daughters of Smithfield! and heare what mallady it doth the minde: It causeth swearing, it causeth swaggering, it causeth snuffling, and snarling, and now and then a hurt.

IVS. Looke into any Angle o’the towne, (the Streights, or the Bermuda’s) where the quarrelling lesson is read, and how doe they entertaine the time, but with bottle-ale, and tabacco? The Lecturer is o’one side, and his Pupils o’the other; But the seconds are still bottle-ale, and tabacco, for which the Lecturer reads, and the Nouices pay. Thirty pound a weeke in bottle-ale! forty in tabacco! and ten more in Ale againe. Then for a sute to drinke in, so much, and (that being slauer’d) so much for another sute, and then a third sute, and a fourth sute! and still the bottle-ale slauereth, and the tabacco stinketh!

LEA. What do you lack? what do you buy, pretty Mistris! a fine Hobby-Horse, to make your sonne a Tilter? a Drum to make him a Souldier? a Fiddle, to make him a Reueller? What is’t you lack? Little Dogs for your Daughters! or Babies, male, or female?

BVS. Look not toward them, harken not: the place is Smithfield, or the field of Smiths, the Groue of Hobbi-horses and trinkets, the wares are the wares of diuels. And the whole Fayre is the shop of Satan!

QVAR. I’le warrant thee, then, no wife out o’the widdowes Hundred: if I had but as much Title to her, as to haue breath’d once on that streight stomacher of hers, I would now assure my felfe to carrry her, yet, ere she went out of Smithfield. Or she should carry me, which were the fitter sight, I confesse.

COK. Numps, here be finer things then any we ha’ bought by oddes! and more delicate horses, a great deale! good Numpes, stay, and come hither.

WAS. Will you scourse with him? you are in Smithfield, you may fit your selfe with a fine easy-going street-nag, for your saddle again’ Michaelmasse-terme, doe, has he ne’er a little odde cart for you, to make a Carroch on, i’the countrey, with foure pyed hobby horses? why the meazills, should you stand heere, with your traine, cheaping of Dogges, Birds, and Babies? you ha’ no children to bestow ’hem on? ha’ you?

NIG. Alacke and for pitty, why should it be said? As if they regarded or places, or time. Examples haue been Of some that were seen, In Westminster Hall, yea the pleaders between, Then why should the Iudges be free from this curse, More then my poore selfe, for cutting the purse? NIG. At Worc’ter ’tis knowne well, and euen i’the layle, A Knight of good worship did there shew his face, Against the foule sinners, in zealè for to rayle, And lost (ipso facto) his purse in the place.

GRA. Faith, through a common calamity, he bought me, Sir; and now he will marry me to his wiues brother, this wise Gentleman, that you see, or else I must pay value o’my land.

QVAR. S’lid, is there no deuice of disparagement? or so? talke with some crafty fellow, some picklocke o’the Law! Would I had studied a yeere longer i’the Innes of Court, and’t had beene but i’your case.

BVS. Sister, let her fly the impurity of the place, swiftly, lest shee partake of the pitch thereof. Thou art the seate of the Beast, O Smithfield, and I will leaue thee. Idolatry peepeth out on euery side of thee.

TRA. A poxe of his Bedlem purity. Hee has spoyl’d halfe my ware: but the best is, wee lose nothing, if wee misse our first Merchant.

COK. Would I might lose my doublet, and hose, too; as I am an honest man, and neuer stirre, if I thinke there be any thing, but thieuing, and cooz’ning, i’this whole Fayre, Bartholmew-fayre, quoth he; an’ euer any Bartholmew had that lucke in’t, that I haue had, I’le be martyr’d for him, and in Smithfield, too.

WHI. As soone ash tou cansht shwet Vrsh. Of a valiant man I tinke I am the patientsh man i’the world, or in all Smithfield.

VRS. Helpe, helpe here.

KNO. How now? what vapour’s there?

VRS. O, you are a sweet Ranger! and looke well to your walks. Yonder is your Punque of Turnbull, Ramping Ales, has falne vpon the poore Gentlewoman within, and pull’d her hood ouer her eares, and her hayre through it.

ALE. The poore common whores can ha’ no traffique, for the priuy rich ones; your caps and hoods of veluet, call away our customers, and lick the fat from vs.

VRS. Peace you foule ramping Iade, you—

ALE. Od’s foote, you Bawd in greace, are you talking?

KNO. VVhy, Alice, I say.

ALE. Thou Sow of Smithfield, thou.

VRS. Thou tripe of Turnebull.

KNO. Cat-a-mountaine-vapours! ha!

VRS. You know where you were taw’d lately, both lash’d, and slash’d you were in Bridewell.

ALE. I, by the same token, you rid that weeke, and broake out the bottome o’the Cart, Night-tub.

LANTHORNE. FILCHER. SHARKVVEL.

WEll, Lucke and Saint Bartholmew; out with the signe of our inuention, in the name of Wit, and do you beat the Drum, the while; All the fowle i’the Fayre, I meane, all the dirt in Smithfield, (that’s one of Master Littlewit’s Carwhitchets now) will be throwne at our Banner to day, if the matter do’s not please the people.

COK. A Motion, what’s that? The ancient moderne history of Hero, and Leander, otherwise called The Touchstone of true Loue, with as true a tryall of friendship, betweene Damon, and Pithias, two faithfull friends o’the Bankside? pretty i’faith, what’s the meaning on’t? is’t an Enterlude? or what is’t?

IOH. It pleases him to make a matter of it, Sir. But there is no such matter I assure you: I haue onely made it a little easie, and moderne for the times, Sir, that’s all; As, for the Hellespont I imagine our Thames here; and then Leander, I make a Diers sonne, about Puddle-wharfe: and Hero a wench o’ the Banke-side, who going ouer one morning, to old fish-street; Leander spies her land at Trigsstayres, and falls in loue with her: Now do I introduce Cupid, hauing Metamorphos’d himselfe into a Drawer, and he strikes Hero in loue with a pint of Sherry, and other pretty passages there are, o’ the friendship, that will delight you, Sir, and please you of Iudgement.

LAN. Gentles, that no longer your expectations may wander, Behold our chiefe Actor, amorous Leander. With a great deale of cloth lap’d about him like a Scarfe, For he yet serues his father, a Dyer at Puddle wharfe, VVhich place we’ll make bold with, to call our Abidus, As the Banke-side is our Sestos, and let it not be deny’d vs.

PVP. L. Here, Cole, what fayerest of Fayers, was that fare, that thou landedst but now a Trigsstayres?

COK. What was that, fellow? Pray thee tell me, I scarse vnderstand ’hem.

LAN. Leander do’s aske, Sir, what fayrest of Fayers, Was the fare thhe landed, but now, at Trigsstayers?

PVP. C. It is louely Hero.

PVP. L. Nero?

PVP. C. No, Hero.

LAN. It is Hero. Of the Bankside, he saith, to tell you truthwith out erring, Is come ouer into Fish-street to eat some fresh herring. Leander sayes no more, but as fast as he can, Gets on all his best cloathes; and will after to the Swan. LAN. Now gentles, to the freinds, who in number, are two, and lodg’d in that Ale-house, in which faire Hero do’s doe. Damon (’for some kindnesse done him the last weeke) is come faire Hero, in Fish-streete, this morning to seeke: Pythias do’s smell the knauery of the meeting, and now you shall see their true friendly greeting. PVP. L. And sweetest of geese, before I goe to bed, I’ll swimme o’re the Thames, my goose, thee to tread.

COK. Braue! he will swimme o’re the Thames, and tread his goose, too night, he sayes.

LAN. I, peace, Sir, the’ll be angry, if they heare you eaues-dropping, now they are setting their match.

PVP. L. But lest the Thames should be dark, my goose, my deare friend, let thy window be prouided of a candles end.

IVS. Master Winwife? I hope you haue won no wife of her, Sir. If you haue, I will examine the possibility of it, at fit leasure. Now, to my enormities: looke vpon mee, O London! and see mee, O Smithfield; The example of Iustice, and Mirror of Magistrates: the true top of formality, and scourge of enormity. Harken vnto my labours, and but obserue my discoueries; and compare Hercules with me, if thou dar’st, of old; or Columbus; Magellan; or our countrey man Drake of later times: stand forth you weedes of enormity, and spread.

QVA. Loke i’your boxe, Numps, nay, Sir, stand not you fixt here, like a stake in Finsbury to be shot at, or the whipping post i’the Fayre, but get your wife out o’the ayre, it wil make her worse else; and remember you are but Adam, Flesh, and blood!